I wonder if I could beg a few minutes of your time for a bit of advice. 

It may come as a shock to you to know that we were invaded by the Normans in 1066.  It took me by surprise, but then at Burlington School we weren’t always fed correct information and sometimes the milk was warm, having been kept by the pipes.

I intend to enact revenge by touring Normandy in the early summer, playing my ukulele and singing some of the songs that made Britain great.

Frankly, a bit of sartorial advice would be pretty handy.  I’m a bit of a T-shirt-and-jeans wallah and, with France being the home of Haute Couture, I thought that maybe drawing attention to my lack of fashion sense would detract from my true mission.

Could you recommend a simple outfit that would enable maximum give for my strumming arm?  Playing “Pinball Wizard” on the banjo-ukulele whilst doing the Pete Townshend windmilling arm action is bound to put stress on the seams of even the best garment.

At the same time, I would like the outfit to remain crease-free in what could be a range of weather situations and to withstand any food accidents as it’s not just better clothes they have than us, they know how to eat.  I’m looking for something classical, chic and, as Mrs. Corder will be staying back to look after the dog’s hernia, perhaps something that might put a glint in the eye of those Normandy women?

 I am most grateful for your advice and look forward to hearing from you.