I am shortly to undertake a busking tour of Normandy as part of a protest against the French invasion of 1066.  It is very important that I wear British shoes for this tour.  If, for instance, I found myself wearing something foreign, I think it would dissipate the statement I am trying to make. 

I wonder if you can point me in the right direction.  Whatever shoes I wear they must have the following qualities: 

light - by that I mean not heavy, rather than the opposite of dark

durable – I don’t want cheap tat that will fall apart if I cough too severely

waterproof – occasionally when you busk, small dogs urinate on your feet, so you need something as watertight as a Jeffrey Archer alibi

stylish – I don’t want something that looks like an orthopaedic product, I’m in France, so I need something that will kick bottom

Lastly, they must look good with corduroy.

Could you recommend a good place for me to find such footwear.  Staffordshire used to be good for it, but all the cobblers are now long gone.  I’m open to boots, but would prefer not to move to the realm of sandals as an unpleasant fungal infection might deflect the public’s attention from my singing and playing to a more pedal area that is probably best left covered up.

I look forward to hearing from you.  Alternatively, I am in the Northampton area on the 15^th of next month and could come in person to discuss the matter.  I often find that a face-to-face meeting is more productive.  You might also be able to give me advice about my fungal infection at the same time – don’t worry I’ll bring a towel and some disinfectant.